We trust authority figures every day—experts, influencers, even strangers on the internet. But have you ever wondered why? Why do we instinctively look to others for guidance, sometimes more than we trust ourselves?
The truth is, we don’t just recognize authority—we willingly give it away. We hand over power the moment we believe someone else has access to knowledge, confidence, or success we don’t.
Think about it:
- Why do we follow influencers, even when their advice lacks substance?
- Why do some people command respect the moment they enter a room?
- Why do we trust professionals—doctors, teachers, politicians—sometimes without question?
The answer lies in how we process authority. We assume that those who appear more experienced or successful hold more power. But what if that assumption is holding us back?
The Power of Comparison
From an early age, we’re conditioned to measure ourselves against others:
- At school, we’re ranked by grades.
- In sports, we’re judged by performance.
- At work, we’re evaluated by success.
Comparison creates hierarchy. And when someone appears more accomplished, we subconsciously place them above us—ceding authority over our own choices and self-worth.
The Physiology of Authority
Authority isn’t just psychological—it’s physiological. Our body’s responses shape our decision-making more than we realize.
Here’s how it works:
- Physiology controls psychology. Your physical state (hunger, stress, fatigue) directly impacts your mental state. When you’re exhausted, you’re more likely to defer decisions to others.
- Emotions are automatic. Your initial reaction—nervousness before a speech, intimidation in a high-stakes meeting—is hardwired. It’s your survival instinct at play.
- Feelings, however, are within your control. Once you recognize an emotional response, you can choose how to act on it.
When someone exudes confidence or expertise, our brains conserve energy by trusting them instead of challenging their authority. But just because someone appears in control doesn’t mean they’re more capable than you.
How Authority Shapes Confidence
Authority isn’t just about decision-making—it defines how we see ourselves. The more we measure our worth against others, the more power we give away.
Two ways comparison affects authority:
- Measuring others against your own standards keeps you in control of how you view success.
- Measuring yourself against others hands over control—your confidence becomes dependent on their achievements.
When you let external validation dictate your self-worth, you create a cycle where others’ success defines your limitations. Instead of focusing on your growth, you’re trapped in the pursuit of measuring up.
Reclaiming Your Power
Every time you compare yourself to someone else, you’re not just giving them influence—you’re handing over resources:
- Time spent worrying about their opinions.
- Attention diverted from your own progress.
- Energy drained by self-doubt.
- Money spent trying to match someone else’s level of success.
The more you give away, the harder it becomes to reclaim your authority. The key is shifting focus—redirecting your energy toward your own path, rather than someone else’s.
The Path Forward
Power isn’t taken—it’s given. The moment you stop seeking permission, external validation, or comparison, you start reclaiming authority over your own life.
- Trust your judgment.
- Define success on your own terms.
- Recognize that confidence isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about believing in your ability to find them.
The only person who should have authority over your life is you.